There is a possibility I might meet Bill Gates in the near future and being the sarcastic, dry Brit that I am, I want to do something outrageous and totally off the wall. I want to totally snub him and do what nobody else has the guts to do, but I need your help!

Imagine this, he’ll walk up after shaking lots of hands and spouting crap to people, then it’ll my turn to shake his hand and say something odd to him. The person I choose to use their line I will pay them £20 (around $39) for their help.

Some lines I have come up with include:

• Can I call you Willy?
• Could you possibly lend me a tenner? I heard you’re loaded.
• Can you lend me my Tube fare home?
• On hi, nice to meet you too. I’ll have a lager and my friend will have a Coke - he’s driving by the way.
• Who are you?!?
• So… you’re a geek then?
• Oh cool, you shop at Topshop too? I’ve got that very same jumper!
• Haha! You may be the richest man in the world but you’ve still got a boss!!
• Hmmm… so what do you do again?
• Are you related to Gareth by any chance?
• Is your wife just after your money, because you really are a moose.
• Nice combover
• Do you use Firefox or Internet Explorer?
• Hi there. I’m the richest guy in the world (I’d like to see what he says at that)
• Do you know when that jackass Bill Gates will come along? I’d love to kick his ass.
• Wow, your skin is really pasty… you must not get out much.
• Haha! Specky-four eyes!
• Woaahh there Billy Boy! Get a fresh mint - your bloody breath stinks!